Chipper Jones to Retire at Season's End

Today Chipper Jones announced he will retire at the end of this season. Jones was drafted by the Braves as the 1^st overall pick in 1990 and became a mainstay in their lineup beginning in 1995. That year also marks the first and only World Series title the Braves have won since moving to Atlanta.  He was not member of the Braves when they began their 14 year run, but he is often referenced as an example of Atlanta’s dominance during that time along with the likes of John Smoltz, Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux. Jones also serves as the final touchstone of that era which ended in 2005.  Sure Brian McCann and Tim Hudson were also members of the 2005 club but so were Jeff Francoeur and Ryan Langerhans and you don’t see me mourning their departures. 

The news was not surprising. The switch hitting third baseman turns 40 on April 24^th.  That’s 40 as a position player, not a DH or a pitcher like the 49 year old Jamie Moyer who is trying to make a comeback this year.  That’s 40 for a guy who has suffered a barrage of injuries ranging from his oblique to his hands (remember that freak injury?) The fact that he has been able to play at such a high level for this long speaks not only to his talent but to his will and determination.

It will be a sad day to look out onto the field and not see Chipper at third.  But it is a day that was bound to come.  I look forward to five years from now when he is inducted into the hall of fame.

God's Quarterback to play for Satan

When Peyton Manning signed with the Denver Broncos it left Tim Tebow on the wrong side of Denver. You know the part with the prostitutes and drug addicts.  And while he was only there for a short time it will make for an easy transition to the Jets, who traded for him on Wednesday. (Have you been to a Jets game?)

For the Broncos they were able to effortlessly move away from TebowMania by bringing in a four-time MVP quarterback in Peyton Manning and pick up two draft picks. For the Jets they get a second mediocre quarterback to add to Mark Sanchez.  Does this make it a win-win?

The Mad Hatter

I feel like as I write this I should be wearing a large top hat while seated at the end of a long table.  Spread chaoticly around are teapots, cups and saucers waiting patiently to be used.  At some point a strange blonde haired girl and a crazy bunny will come upon me as I hold my tea party.  But alas, it’s just me in my PJs sitting on my bed breaking up my isolation with TV chatter.

Hours upon hours will be devoted to this small little chart that is reminiscent of dodge ball tournaments in middle school. This one however, has a little more at stake…a national Championship.



Courtesy of Yahoo! Sports



ESPN calls their analysis bracketology to separate themselves from others such as Hard Core Brackets or Dancing with the College Basketball Stars.  I call it 48 hours of hell.  Kentucky looks to be this year’s favorite, which means if I select them they’ll be out in the second weekend somewhere between the Sweet 16 and the Elite Eight.  The Sweet 16 is also where I’ll be having Duke exit.  But knowing my last few years when I always have them surviving further than actually do, it will be a miracle if they get past the first weekend.  And what to do with teams like Murray St., Belmont and UCONN?  Oh and by the way, I am pretty sure Mississippi Valley State and Lamar didn’t exist until yesterday.  This is truly March Madness.

Manning Mania

On Wednesday the Colts announced they would be releasing 4-time MVP Peyton Manning. The decision was not surprising considering Indianapolis holds the first pick in this year’s draft where they will most likely chose Stanford QB Andrew Luck. But the move became even more emotional when Manning made an appearance during a Thursday press conference which confirmed his departure.  Holding back tears, Manning thanked the Colts organization for 14 years of service and then proceeded to hop a jet to South Florida where he began to chart his next move. 

Saturday Manning headed to Denver for his first stop on the Manning Free Agency Tour 2012.  The former Super Bowl Champ reportedly met with Hall of Fame quarterback John Elway and Broncos head coach John Fox for six hours.  During the interview they most likely discussed how God would take losing his favorite QB Tim Tebow.  The consensus…if he really cared the Broncos wouldn’t have gotten slaughtered by the Patriots in the second round of the playoffs.

But while Manning was being wined and dined by the Broncos, two teams seemed to have bowed out of the crowded suitors list.   The Jets, for reasons known only to two out of the four characters played by Toni Collette in the United States of Tara, have extended the contract of quarterback Mark Sanchez.  The move was cheered by fans of mediocrity and Kate Upton.  For Jets fans this is just avoiding the inevitable let down of not getting Peyton Manning.  Meanwhile the Redskins have acquired the number two draft pick from the Rams for three first round draft picks and a second round pick.  The deal will allow the Skins to gain a young franchise quarterback in Robert Griffin III. 

As for Manning’s other options, he’ll have the opportunity to stay in the AFC by joining the Miami Dolphins, while NFC teams the Arizona Cardinals and Seattle Seahawks have also been mentioned as possible destinations.  Happy hunting.

Rain Clouds Over Queens

Well it’s been a crappy few days for people associated with the Mets organization.  On Friday rumors arose that Mets first baseman Ike Davis has Valley Fever.  The disease has been described as mono on steroids.  As someone who has had mono, I offer my condolences to Mr. Davis who acquired a disease I thought was limited to Taylor Kitsch’s character in John Carter.

Today came news that Mets ownership would have to fork over $83.3 million to the trustees of the Madoff we got super screwed give us our money back fund.  And as an added bonus they are still scheduled to go to trial for another $300 million.  Anyone interested in buying the Mets?  Considering their weakened state and the fact they’ll lose David Wright one way or another, I am sure you can get quite the bargain.

And finally, Nails is headed to jail or as my brother described it “the man bringing down a cool guy.” Others may describe it as the man sending a guy to jail who plead no contest to grand theft auto and providing a false financial statement. But to each their own.

More than spit in your eye

I’d like to pretend that I am a better human being. That I am not enjoying someone else's misfortune. That there isn’t some sort of irony wrapped into the A.J. Burnett injury.  That someone who has fallen so quickly from the Yankees to the Pirates deserves another chance.  But alas, it appears that chance won’t come for a few months.   Burnett fractured his orbital bone on Wednesday at the Pirates facility while practicing bunting.  Maybe next time he’ll remember to aim the ball down.  Or that he is an incredibly fortunate human being who has throughout his career demonstrated that his mind, not his body has ruled his game.  This injury could prove his dedication to this game by working hard to get back into the shape that once afforded him a five year, $82.5 million contract.  Or he could just swim in a pool of money.