Frenchies, Frenchies, Frenchies

After googling this story, this is the more PG photo alternative

Forgive me for my tardiness on this one, but I am just starting to get back into regular blogging.

It seems that the old adage footballers love their underage prostitutes is true.  And that is not just a thinly veiled reference about Lawrence Taylor. French national team players, of the soccer variety, Franck Ribery and Karim Benzema will face a trail for soliciting a minor, Paris prosecutors announced.  The players are caught up in a high profile French sex scandal which revolves around a Paris nightclub known for providing underage prostitutes, the underage part being illegal. The bust took place in April 2010 and kicked off a disastrous run for the French national team, which also included a strike during the World Cup.  

Ribery, who plays for Bayem Munich and Benzema, who plays for Real Madrid were identified by call girl Zahia Dehar as two of her many clients.  Although the nightwalker admits she never identified herself as under 18.

If convicted the soccer studs could enter into a whole other type of prostitution in a French jail where they face up to three years of residency and a 45,000 euros ($55,000) fine.

Related Articles:
French soccer stars Ribery, Benzema face trial overunderage prostitutes

KarimBenzema will face trial

Now this is ridiculous

I really thought they were going to make it

At this point I think there should be some sort of protocol regarding celebrity/athlete weddings. 

1.      Instead of sending a gift within one year of the wedding date, couples cannot accept wedding presents until they have been married for one year

1a. If you do receive gifts prior to being married for one year you not only must return all gifts but you must also provide evidence of doing so.

2.      All wedding related expenses including but not exclusive to cost of hotel, airfare/train fare/gas, outfits purchased for any wedding events, gifts, starbucks, doggy day care, nails/hair and after party bar tabs should be reimbursed for marriages not lasting more than three months.  Percentages of expense should also be reimbursed for marriages lasting less than 12 months with reimbursement directly related to length of marriage.  (80% - 4 months; 70% - 5 months; 60% - 6 months and so forth)

3.      Proceeds from wedding related coverage should be donated to charities such as Children’s hospitals, Cancer research, Ryan Seacrest for helping to promote your shame of a marriage Kim…maybe Paula Abdul needs some cash for her dance camp

4.      If you plan on ending your marriage in the first four months PLEASE make sure to have it recorded for a reality show.  In fact, it’s better if you have more than one reality show following you in case the first show (ie VH1) decides to not air your show. 

Undercover

Seeing this image of Tim Tebow reminds me of how age inappropriate he is for me.

However this photo makes me forget. Why couldn't he have signed with Jacksonville?

Another Lockout on the Horizon

As the Olympics came to a close and baseball marched into the dog days, I began to start looking forward to fall activities.  Sundays spent in crowded bars as friends and patrons guzzled beers and I scarfed down nachos while watching football.   Or weeknights bundled up in Madison Square Garden yelling "Potvin Sucks."  But it appears my angry chants may have to wait for a while.  A year removed from the NFL and NBA lockouts and seven years after the disastrous 2004-05 lockout, the NHL looks to be heading towards an impasse and this may not end up as rosy as the ones from last year.  What’s at stake?  You guessed it…MONEY!! Who’s surprised?  The owners want more of it and strangely enough so do the players.  And the players aren't kidding this time, they've brought in Don Fehr to lead the charge.

The facts are these, since the league lost the entire 04-05 season revenue is up 50% to $3.2 billion for the 2011-12 season.  And with 30 clubs the average team is worth $240 million. The NHL players have the highest minimum salary but yet the lowest highest paid player in the big four.  In fact Shea Weber at $14 million a season would be the tied with Al Jefferson for the 23^rd highest paid player in the NBA and wouldn’t even rank in the top 25 in MLB.  You could double his salary and not even reach that of Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez’s close to $30 million a season.  And if you added 65% to Weber’s yearly salary you’d equal Peyton Manning’s NFL leading $23 million which he earned standing on the sidelines in 2011.  (Not that there is anything wrong with that Peyton.)

But while the NHL may trail in average team salaries and highest paid players they are actually on par in one very key area: percentage of league revenue to player salary at about 57% (although that number fluctuates). That is one of the many items the owners are hoping to change by lowering it to 43%.  They’d also like to tack on two additional years to an entry level contract going from three to five, change the unrestricted free agent from seven to 10 years and eliminate arbitration.  Looking at baseball as a reference, once a player makes it into the majors their team owns them unilaterally for three years.  The next three years the player is arbitration eligible and after their first six years he can file for free agency.

The one major thing that sets the NHL apart from the other members of the big four is the toll the sport takes on ones body.  Think about it this way, a NHL season is made up of 72 games through the course of six months (October-April).  Sure major league baseball players are laughing because that’s less than half their season in same the amount of time.  But how many MLB players are subjected to the same piercing body blows game in and game out.  Of course Justin Morneau has suffered his share of injures (bruised lung, concussions) and Buster Posey almost lost a leg last season but when was the last time you saw baseball's top player miss practically an entire season with the effects of a concussion like Sidney Crosby did last year?  How many basketball players died during the offseason most likely due to the lasting effects of head trauma?  None you say.  Well the NHL saw two active players (Rick Rypien and Derek Boogaard) plus former player Wade Belak in 2011 alone.  This is the kind of stuff that happens in the NFL and their regular season consists of only SIXTEEN games!  And it’s not like the NHL is rushing to put an end to this like they are in the NFL, MLB and NCAA.

At the end of the day everyone loses during a lockout, except maybe Gary Bettman who would be entering his third work stopage since taking over as commissioner and he has seen his salary double since 2004. (It's now $7.98 million well shy of Bud Selig and Roger Goodell who make about $20 million but I'd be ok with it.)  The players and owners will work their hardest to make the other side look greedy and heartless while fans figure out other things to do during the winter and employees of these teams and the league pray they are not adversely effected by millionaires/billionaires going after each other. But with what looks like an impending lockout ahead, I for one hope that there is at least some hockey this year. 

Check out these two sites which put the big four in perspective:

FansEdge Graph
Plunkett Research, Inc.

Related article:

Watch out NHL and NBA, MLS is growing

Casting Call: Bachelor Pad 3 Edition

If you follow me on twitter (KatieGrace44) you’d already know I have a minor obsession with all things Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad and the Olympics.  So today I have decided to combine my two favorites with a casting call…Bachelor Pad Edition.

EW

 

Chris Bukowski (Emily’s Season) as played by Ryan Lochte

Chris Bukowski initially captured my heart as he vied for the love of Emily Manyard in the most recent Bachelorette.  On that season Chris positioned himself as a young boy next door if not slightly whiney and a tad uncoordinated.  Even though he was dropped after hometown dates Chris remained a favorite.  That was until he entered the Bachelor Pad house.  His kind exterior gave way to a much more devious and kind of slutty interior.  Somewhat similar is Ryan Lochte.  The Florida alum took the world by storm with covers of Vogue, Men’s Health and even last week’s SI.  His all American vibe has translated into millions of dollars in sponsorship all the while hiding his seemingly douchebag/man whore side.  Thank goodness for honest mom’s and the papazzari!

ABC

 

Lindzi Cox (Ben’s Season) as played by Lolo Jones

On Ben’s season of the Bachelor, Lindzi was painted as a naïve and meek girl who was jilted in a horrible green velvet cape on the final episode.  But her naivety quickly went out the window when she went on a full on assault while promoting the show.  On the Bachelor Pad Lindzi is balancing her sweet girl image with danger as she has reportedly hooked up with villain Kalon McMahon. Just like Lindzi, Lolo Jones has battled public perception.  Painted as a virgin, Jones has fought back with talent and determination, lunging herself into the 100M hurdle semifinal.

ABC

AL Bello/Getty Images

Michael Stagliano (Jillian’s Season) as played by Michael Phelps

After winning Bachelor Pad season 2, Michael Stagliano has come back for another season hoping to find the one thing that has eluded him, a wife.  Meanwhile Michael Phelps entered the London Olympics looking to cap off a storied career.  After a rocky start, the greatest swimmer ever closed out London with four straight golds. 

Kansas City Star

Blakely Jones (Ben’s Season) as played by Jordyn Wieber

My favorite memory of Blakely from her season of the Bachelor was when she made Ben a scrap book. A scrapbook, that’s something you see on Law & Order when they are in search of a serial killer.  But luckily for Ben, Blakely has taken her desperation to team Chris, let’s hope he makes it out of Bachelor Pad safely.  Jordyn Wieber on the other hand came into London as a favorite for the All Around gold in Woman’s Gymnastics.  But Wieber, who failed to even qualify for the All Around, was able to put herself back together in time to help Team USA win the Team Gold.  Let’s see if Blakely can do the same.

Ed Swiderski (Jillian’s Season) as played by Roger Federer

In his season of the Bachelorette, Ed was able to win the heart of Jillian Harris. Ed has been anything but winning since he's entered the Bachelor Pad. (Hot tub anyone?) Roger Federer on the other hand followed up a Wimbledon victory with a scorching defeat by Andy Murray in the Gold medal game of the 2012 Olympics.

ABC

AP

Reid Rosenthal (Jillian’s Season) as played by Andy Murray

In Jillian’s season, Reid was bested by rival Ed in the competition for Jillian.  But in this year’s Bachelor Pad Reid is trying to do everything he can to finally top Ed.  Meanwhile Andy Murray took his crushing loss to Roger Federer in Wimbledon and used it as ammunition to best Roger for the gold.  

UPDATE:  Well after last week Reid isn't getting a gold until at least BP4

Pot Brownies, Cocaine and PMS Meds

It seems that everyone has an excuse for failing a drug test.  Whether it be because of PMS like Hope Solo or that you didn’t realize your brownie was laced with pot like Nick Delpopolo or even because you made out with a cocaine riddled chick in Miami like Richard Gasquet, everyone has a reason why they broke the rules.  So to help you stay one step ahead of your ruling body here are a few ideas as to why you were caught with an illegal substance in your system:

There was PEDs in my delta airlines sandwich.  Damn you terrorists!

Just Jared

It was a gift from my hookup with Pauly D at the Jersey Shore house. #yeahbuddy

Thought I was taking my thyroid medication, turns out it was anabolic steroids.  That was one scary sleep driving incident.

Jeremy Renner gave me something on a transatlantic flight.  Should have known it was no good for me after he asked if I was interested in joining the mile high club.

Thought I’d go Dennis and Dee and take some to get on welfare.  Hard out here for a pimp.

The barrista at Starbucks was upset that I didn’t tip him last week so he spiked my latte.

I trusted Amanda Bynes…but not enough to get in a car with her. 

What…that is not allowed? 

Potato, Potato…let’s not call the whole thing off

Lee S. Weissman

There are very few times in life where I am “ok” with change.  Nathan’s turning to russet potatoes is not one of them. An apparent shortage of their usual Maine potatoes has forced the Coney Island institution to use the drier, less tasty cousin.  According to a spokesman the change is not forever.  That’s what they all say buddy.  Let’s just say we change back to the old potatoes and no gets hurt. 

(Source)

Spoiler Alert – Olympics Edition

Ryan Lochte - Just Cause

For those readers worried about me giving away results from today’s events like women’s gymnastics or 200M butterfly, don’t worry, I am not the NBC Olympics App.  Unfortunately for me today, I wasn’t so lucky.  In trying to live in a modern world of radio science I had successfully stayed off of Twitter, ESPN, People, US Weekly, NY Post, removed sportscenter push notifications and avoided all public spaces where Olympics related talk could be heard (which included the grocery store, nothing says desperate like eating microwave popcorn three meals a day.) Even with careful living I was spoiled this afternoon when sending emails from my phone a NBC Olympic notification popped up my screen revealing Michael Phelps’ finishing position in the 200M Butterfly.  In this moment I angrily deleted the app and yelled, why can’t they just start showing this stuff live on TV?

I understand the monetary ramifications for NBC.  Sponsors would rather spend their dollars during prime time when the viewing audience is larger.  But when the average Joe can log onto Facebook, Twitter or ESPN, receive Google alerts (as in the case of my roommate) with see real time updates not to mention even watch live on their phone, then why does it matter?  If companies don’t evolve they dissolve, can’t the same be held true for Olympic broadcasting? 

I acknowledge the fact that nothing will change for the 2012 Olympics but maybe by the time we celebrate Rio in 2016 things can finally change.

Set Fire to the Rain

Photo: Reuters

So Kentucky won the national championship last night which means only one thing…somebody is going to get shot?  Seriously Kentucky fans, I mean where are the creepy random kissers in the middle of the riot?   At least no one got shot in Vancouver. Although no one got a ring either. 

Collateral damage included a wrecked fire truck which was quite an issue considering there were a reported 56 fire.  There probably were a few calls home to student’s parent too.  “Mom, yeah it’s [insert name here] I got arrested but it was totally not my fault.  Can you come pick me up?  And please don’t tell dad.”  Well at least the Kentucky players didn’t have to worry about NCAA sanctions because come June they’ll be high tailing it to a new NBA team. 

Chipper Jones to Retire at Season's End

Today Chipper Jones announced he will retire at the end of this season. Jones was drafted by the Braves as the 1^st overall pick in 1990 and became a mainstay in their lineup beginning in 1995. That year also marks the first and only World Series title the Braves have won since moving to Atlanta.  He was not member of the Braves when they began their 14 year run, but he is often referenced as an example of Atlanta’s dominance during that time along with the likes of John Smoltz, Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux. Jones also serves as the final touchstone of that era which ended in 2005.  Sure Brian McCann and Tim Hudson were also members of the 2005 club but so were Jeff Francoeur and Ryan Langerhans and you don’t see me mourning their departures. 

The news was not surprising. The switch hitting third baseman turns 40 on April 24^th.  That’s 40 as a position player, not a DH or a pitcher like the 49 year old Jamie Moyer who is trying to make a comeback this year.  That’s 40 for a guy who has suffered a barrage of injuries ranging from his oblique to his hands (remember that freak injury?) The fact that he has been able to play at such a high level for this long speaks not only to his talent but to his will and determination.

It will be a sad day to look out onto the field and not see Chipper at third.  But it is a day that was bound to come.  I look forward to five years from now when he is inducted into the hall of fame.

God's Quarterback to play for Satan

When Peyton Manning signed with the Denver Broncos it left Tim Tebow on the wrong side of Denver. You know the part with the prostitutes and drug addicts.  And while he was only there for a short time it will make for an easy transition to the Jets, who traded for him on Wednesday. (Have you been to a Jets game?)

For the Broncos they were able to effortlessly move away from TebowMania by bringing in a four-time MVP quarterback in Peyton Manning and pick up two draft picks. For the Jets they get a second mediocre quarterback to add to Mark Sanchez.  Does this make it a win-win?

The Mad Hatter

I feel like as I write this I should be wearing a large top hat while seated at the end of a long table.  Spread chaoticly around are teapots, cups and saucers waiting patiently to be used.  At some point a strange blonde haired girl and a crazy bunny will come upon me as I hold my tea party.  But alas, it’s just me in my PJs sitting on my bed breaking up my isolation with TV chatter.

Hours upon hours will be devoted to this small little chart that is reminiscent of dodge ball tournaments in middle school. This one however, has a little more at stake…a national Championship.



Courtesy of Yahoo! Sports



ESPN calls their analysis bracketology to separate themselves from others such as Hard Core Brackets or Dancing with the College Basketball Stars.  I call it 48 hours of hell.  Kentucky looks to be this year’s favorite, which means if I select them they’ll be out in the second weekend somewhere between the Sweet 16 and the Elite Eight.  The Sweet 16 is also where I’ll be having Duke exit.  But knowing my last few years when I always have them surviving further than actually do, it will be a miracle if they get past the first weekend.  And what to do with teams like Murray St., Belmont and UCONN?  Oh and by the way, I am pretty sure Mississippi Valley State and Lamar didn’t exist until yesterday.  This is truly March Madness.

Manning Mania

On Wednesday the Colts announced they would be releasing 4-time MVP Peyton Manning. The decision was not surprising considering Indianapolis holds the first pick in this year’s draft where they will most likely chose Stanford QB Andrew Luck. But the move became even more emotional when Manning made an appearance during a Thursday press conference which confirmed his departure.  Holding back tears, Manning thanked the Colts organization for 14 years of service and then proceeded to hop a jet to South Florida where he began to chart his next move. 

Saturday Manning headed to Denver for his first stop on the Manning Free Agency Tour 2012.  The former Super Bowl Champ reportedly met with Hall of Fame quarterback John Elway and Broncos head coach John Fox for six hours.  During the interview they most likely discussed how God would take losing his favorite QB Tim Tebow.  The consensus…if he really cared the Broncos wouldn’t have gotten slaughtered by the Patriots in the second round of the playoffs.

But while Manning was being wined and dined by the Broncos, two teams seemed to have bowed out of the crowded suitors list.   The Jets, for reasons known only to two out of the four characters played by Toni Collette in the United States of Tara, have extended the contract of quarterback Mark Sanchez.  The move was cheered by fans of mediocrity and Kate Upton.  For Jets fans this is just avoiding the inevitable let down of not getting Peyton Manning.  Meanwhile the Redskins have acquired the number two draft pick from the Rams for three first round draft picks and a second round pick.  The deal will allow the Skins to gain a young franchise quarterback in Robert Griffin III. 

As for Manning’s other options, he’ll have the opportunity to stay in the AFC by joining the Miami Dolphins, while NFC teams the Arizona Cardinals and Seattle Seahawks have also been mentioned as possible destinations.  Happy hunting.

Rain Clouds Over Queens

Well it’s been a crappy few days for people associated with the Mets organization.  On Friday rumors arose that Mets first baseman Ike Davis has Valley Fever.  The disease has been described as mono on steroids.  As someone who has had mono, I offer my condolences to Mr. Davis who acquired a disease I thought was limited to Taylor Kitsch’s character in John Carter.

Today came news that Mets ownership would have to fork over $83.3 million to the trustees of the Madoff we got super screwed give us our money back fund.  And as an added bonus they are still scheduled to go to trial for another $300 million.  Anyone interested in buying the Mets?  Considering their weakened state and the fact they’ll lose David Wright one way or another, I am sure you can get quite the bargain.

And finally, Nails is headed to jail or as my brother described it “the man bringing down a cool guy.” Others may describe it as the man sending a guy to jail who plead no contest to grand theft auto and providing a false financial statement. But to each their own.

More than spit in your eye

I’d like to pretend that I am a better human being. That I am not enjoying someone else's misfortune. That there isn’t some sort of irony wrapped into the A.J. Burnett injury.  That someone who has fallen so quickly from the Yankees to the Pirates deserves another chance.  But alas, it appears that chance won’t come for a few months.   Burnett fractured his orbital bone on Wednesday at the Pirates facility while practicing bunting.  Maybe next time he’ll remember to aim the ball down.  Or that he is an incredibly fortunate human being who has throughout his career demonstrated that his mind, not his body has ruled his game.  This injury could prove his dedication to this game by working hard to get back into the shape that once afforded him a five year, $82.5 million contract.  Or he could just swim in a pool of money.

Lin-Sanity Coming to Time Warner Cable

Photo: AP

These days Jeremy Lin can do no wrong including finally bringing MSG back to Time Warner Cable viewers.  For seven weeks many New Yorkers have been without their beloved Knicks and division leading Rangers but now Lin-Sanity is finally going to be able to spread through Manhattan.  Oh wait that already happened. 

In related news, Jeremy Lin will be compiling a Lin-stant replay of his life.  The baller is currently looking for a book deal.  Let the Lin-worthy titles start rolling.  I hope it’s as good as the Chris Coste or David Tyree book.  Because at this point he won’t be able to compete with the Josh Hamilton or even Phil Esposito autobiography.

Bobby Hurley Finally Gets his Apology

I am a huge Duke supporter. Not in the tradition financial ways of donations to the science department but mostly in the March Madness throw on my one of my many Duke t-shirts and hat and yell as loud as possible for the Blue Devils kind of way.  As a kid I was enamored with the way Bobby Hurley played.  I had to be a point guard and I had to wear #11 for my local basketball team.  In my eyes, Christian Laettner and Grant Hill had nothing on him.  He was it for me. 

Following a storied career at Duke which included back-to-back National Championships, Hurley was drafted by the Sacramento Kings.  His career took a hard left turn following a 1993 car accident which ended his rookie season.  Hurley’s injuries were numerous, “a severed trachea, two collapsed lungs, a fractured left shoulder blade, five broken ribs, a small compression fracture in his back, a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee, a fractured right fibula and a sprained wrist.”  

Whether he ever would have become a successful NBA player is up for debate but the accident did have an impact on both Hurley’s life and the life of the driver Danny Weiland.  Weiland was driving his station wagon without his lights on when he plowed into Hurley’s 4runner.  It took 18 years but Weiland has finally apologized.

"I'd like to send my heartfelt apologies and respect to Bobby Hurley," Wieland said by phone Thursday. "I really felt very badly for what happened to him, and it's been more of a burden on my back than anybody knows."

Bobby now serves as an assistant coach at Wagner College under his younger brother Danny.
(Source)

Giants Win the Super Bowl - More Instant Reaction

Here's what others tweeted about the Super Bowl:

Giants Win the Super Bowl – Instant Reaction

If you haven’t noticed I have a mild obsession with Twitter.  Checking the twitterverse, here’s what some of the Giants had to say about yesterday’s victory:

I'll add additional Giants tweets as them come.